


The Blessing

by Tarlan



Series: The Blessing [1]
Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-01-02
Updated: 2006-01-02
Packaged: 2017-10-20 21:07:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/217110
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tarlan/pseuds/Tarlan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rodney should have read the fine print before he signed the trade agreement.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Blessing

**Author's Note:**

> **Beth's Challenge:** _Anyway, I've been meaning to issue this challenge for weeks. Public Sex challenge. Can be someone catching the boys or just watching them... or my personal favorite: the guys being being **forced** to have sex in front of others. (Aliens or teammates..ooh..I'm getting chills just thinking about it!) Yep, sex in front of other people...just love that. (Ahem, I do mean just to read about, you know.)_
> 
>  __PLUS **Huntress** set a challenge to start a fic with the line: _Rodney should have read the fine print of the trade agreement before he signed it on behalf of Atlantis._

Rodney should have read the fine print of the trade agreement before he signed it on behalf of Atlantis. Now, he was speechless, mouth opening and closing like a fish, and with not a single sound uttered, pointing one finger at Sheppard as if he should have known all about this.

"This is your fault, McKay. Fix it!" Sheppard snarled under his breath, pointing right back at him, his index finger jabbing into Rodney's chest. Fortunately, Rodney was wearing his Kevlar vest.

Rodney looked to Teyla but she looked disappointed in him...and annoyed. Yes, he thought as he saw the flash in her dark eyes, there was definite annoyance in there. Not that he cared what anyone truly thought of him. Okay, so he did care a little bit...maybe a lot...but it was hardly his fault that the backward farmers on this pathetic pre-technological world wanted to honor the completion of this trade agreement with a virgin sacrifice to their so-called _earth_ gods. How was he supposed to know what they meant by _offer a blessing_? He thought it meant raising another glass of that weak piss they passed off as beer in some arcane toast.

Virgin sacrifice! Shock filled him as visions of the Wicker Man sprang to mind, with images of being burned alive in some massive corn effigy while naked people danced around a maypole at its feet. Or was the maypole dancing in some other film? And did it matter what film anyway? He was still going to be burned alive, except...

Ha! He thought, lips quirking. Despite the opinion of many that he could not get a date if his life depended on it, Rodney had managed to go through not one but two wives before ending up in another galaxy, far from the alimony payments. Thankfully, neither marriage had produced the socially required rugrats that would have been the bane of his existence and a black hole for his finances, sucking every cent out him like some organic vacuum cleaner. He gave Sheppard a smug smile.

"So what are the chances of finding any virgins on Atlantis?"

"Dr. McKay!"

"What?" He looked to Teyla only to notice that her annoyance had turned to disgust. She shook her head and walked away, muttering something under her breath which, for once, did not arouse Rodney's curiosity. Fine, so his remark was in bad taste on at least two levels, first for even considering sacrificing someone else because of his...his...his momentary lapse of concentration brought on by an acute attack of hypoglycemia...and second...

"Stupid, McKay. Real stupid."

Rodney had the decency to look chagrined. After all, he'd probably just insulted the entire population of Atlantis purely because he had not read the small print. He looked away from Sheppard's tight expression, not requiring a masters in psychology to recognize the anger lying beneath. It was all there in the chameleon eyes that bore into his. Looking away from Sheppard, Rodney's eyes alighted on the lithe frame of his Athosian team mate. She stood on the other side of the village square, obviously in deep discussion with one of the elders and occasionally looking back towards Rodney. Her expression was both polite and earnest, and he realized she was--hopefully--trying to persuade them against the virgin sacrifice. She straightened and turned to look at him speculatively. Rodney could see a small smile playing about her lips before she turned back and stated something to the village elder and, suddenly, Rodney felt very nervous.

Teyla sauntered back over, hips sashaying, and with an extra bounce in her step, stopping by Sheppard and whispering into one ear too low for Rodney to pick up even a single word. The most evil grin he had ever seen on the handsome Major's face was aimed right at Rodney; the type of grin Sheppard normally reserved for people like Kolya when he was about to get the upper hand in some spectacular and nasty way.

Sheppard schooled his features to a far less intimidating grin, and the innocence in that expression put Rodney on DEFCON 1.

"Seems the virgin sacrifice is more a token sacrifice of virginity."

"So they don't plan to burn a wicker man in the fields."

"What?" A dawning light washed out the confusion. "You really shouldn't watch horror films. Your imagination is just a little too active to cope with them."

"Not exactly what my piano tutor told me."

Sheppard gave a confused little smile but then set the conversation back on track. "Sacrificing virginity..." he stated thoughtfully. "So, unless there's something you liked to _share_ with us, it looks like you'd be just about right, McKay."

Indignation bristled through Rodney. "I've been married twice, Major, and neither divorce was based on an inability to perform in bed." He puffed up in pride. "In fact, my second wife stated that the only thing she would miss about me was the fantastic sex."

"That's probably a little more information than I needed," muttered Ford, who had managed to keep silent up to now.

"But somehow manages to be both surprising and _yet_ unsurprising," added Sheppard with a subtleness that made Rodney reassess his words to reveal the self-aimed insult. "But, unless one of your wives--or partners--had extra equipment not belonging to the female gender..?"

Sheppard left the question hanging, eyes sparkling in obvious inner glee as Rodney pondered on his words and...

"Oh no. Oh no, no, no. You can't expect me to...to..."

"Drop your pants, bend over and think of England?"

"Or Canada in his case," Ford added with a snigger.

"Oh yes I can...and I do. You brokered the deal, McKay, so you can pay the fee."

Teyla spoke up. "The Esterians are very excited about the prospect. Among their people, males take male sexual partners from puberty to reduce aggression during adolescence. So a fully adult male with no sexual experience with another male is a rarity, unheard of in many generations."

"So, _Rodney_? Anything in your checkered past we should know about? Perhaps a little game of hide the sausage in the dorm after lights out?"

"Maybe." Rodney hedged, eyes looking anywhere but at his team mates.

Sheppard frowned, and then grinned broadly, not needing a lie detector to see through the barely veiled deception and Rodney cursed his inability to bluff with any real conviction.

"So...tell us a little more about it."

"Whatever happened to don't ask, don't tell, Major," he snapped back in embarrassment.

"Doesn't apply to civilian contractors, only US military personnel."

Rodney wet his lips, delaying in the hope of a small miracle. Even a wraith attack would have been welcome right about then. "Okay," he snapped again. "So I've never actually," he waved his hand around, "But I'm not about to rectify that situation for the entertainment of a bunch of vruk herders."

"Zruk," stated Teyla.

"Vruk, zruk, pluk, who gives a--"

"You're doing it, McKay." Sheppard stared hard at him.

"You can't make me--"

"You got us into this mess so you can get us out again."

Rodney took in Sheppard's unrelenting stare in horror, his mind unable to process what Sheppard was actually asking of him. His brain caught up eventually.

"You can't...I won't...Please don't...Making me do this would be...tantamount to participating in a rape," Rodney choked back in fear, suddenly terrified that Sheppard actually meant for him to go through with some archaic fertility rite that would have him sexually abused in public. He knew he and Sheppard didn't see eye to eye on occasion, and he knew he had often annoyed the Major with his attitude but he could not believe that Sheppard had so little concern or respect for him that he would hand him over like a lamb to the slaughter.

All the levity and pretense dropped from Sheppard's face and he reached out, placing a hand on Rodney's trembling forearm. "It's okay, Rodney. Perhaps I took the teasing a little too far. I'm not going to agree to this. We'll see if we can renegotiate without the blessing and, if not, then we walk away and let Weir know the price was too high."

"Seriously?"

Sheppard nodded. "Seriously."

"Okay. Okay." Rodney sighed shakily, slowly regaining his mental equilibrium.

"I'll let Weir know we'll be delayed a little longer to iron out a few wrinkles," he smiled softly and Rodney answered with a relieved smile.

"Okay. That'll be good."

He noticed Sheppard sharing a pointed look with Teyla, and even recognized an embarrassed expression cross her face, silently wishing the ground would open up and swallow him as he had rarely felt so pathetic and undignified.

**--**

Attempts to reason with the Esterians met with failure and Teyla could guess at the reason by the way their eyes would slide towards McKay. She was mortified, blaming herself for the lapse of judgment that had placed McKay in such a difficult position but she had been so angry with him for his rude remark. When Gerson, the village elder, mentioned that no bloodshed was involved, and that male virginity was prized more highly than female, a moment of sheer madness had overcome her. Instead of rebutting any possibility of her male companions being virgin, she mentioned that many Atlanteans had never taken a male partner as it was not a strong part of their culture, which was the truth. Threads of the conversation came back to her.

"All three of these males have never offered their blessing?"

Teyla frowned, deciding it might be better to remove the Major and Ford from this man's interest. "Major Sheppard and Lieutenant Ford are warriors...brothers-in-arms."

Gerson's eyebrows rose in understanding. "Ahh...but the other...McKay?"

Teyla glanced back over her shoulder, a wicked part of her rising upon seeing him watching her, no doubt wondering if she might be the virgin they could sacrifice. "I do not believe so."

Gerson's eyes shone with excitement, his breath ragged as he gazed across the square at McKay. "His would be such a blessing. It would ensure both a good harvest and freedom from the wraith for many years to come."

The first twinge of guilt struck her as she was arbitrarily dismissed while Gerson rushed off to speak to the other elders but then she caught sight of that haughty expression and decided it was time Dr. McKay was brought down a little. As expected, the Major was not adverse to a little teasing either and only the sheer terror on McKay's face made her realize the error she had made. Although Athosian culture had no problem with same-gender relationships, seeing the soul as far more important than the fragile shell of flesh surrounding it, she knew that this was not necessarily the same for the Atlanteans. Still, she could see he had learned a valuable lesson, except the Esterians wanted to take that lesson all the way through to what they considered to be a blessing but McKay thought of as rape.

"I do not believe we shall be able to change their minds," she stated softly, knowing her words to Gerson had caused as much damage as McKay's oversight when reading the details of the contract.

"We have to try. We need food and supplies." Major Sheppard looked tired after hours of renegotiation that had gone exactly nowhere. Now that the Esterians believed they had a rare offering to make to their gods, they would not consider any changes to the conditions set out in the trade agreement.

"I'm...I'm sorry. This is my fault."

"Well...that's big of you to admit-" Sheppard remarked snidely.

"No, Dr. McKay. I must take a share of the blame for I was the one who made them believe you would be a rare blessing to their gods. I feel I have placed you in an awkward position. I believe we should leave this world today."

"Let's just sleep on it tonight, and give it one last try tomorrow." The Major raised both eyebrows in question, and dropped them only when he had gained a murmur of agreement from all of them.

Teyla's heart ached when she watched McKay lay down, away from herself and the others on the far side of the small building the Esterians had offered them for the night. He cut a lonely figure, turning away from them and drawing up his knees like a small child. No matter how she tried, she could no longer justify her actions, seeing them as a moment of weakness that had caused such pain and anguish.

When her eyes next opened, McKay was gone. She looked across the room, feeling groggy, as if she had imbibed too much of the Esterian's ale the night before, except she had not touched a single drop. Sunlight filtered in through the slatted windows, with dust motes dancing in the mid-morning rays. She sat upright in surprise at having slept so long and deep, reaching out to shake the Major's shoulder. He mumbled and groaned before pushing up to a seated position, rubbing at gritted eyes. His hand stilled as he saw the empty space on the far side of the room.

"Where's McKay?"

"I believe we have been drugged."

The Major reached out to a bare piece of ground beside him. "My weapons are gone," he stated in consternation. Someone had taken all of their weapons, including the holsters.

Sheppard jumped to his feet and reached back down to shake Ford none too gently. Together they raced towards the only exit only to find their way barred.

"What's going on?" Sheppard's demand gained no response from the burly warrior standing guard but another answered for him--Gerson.

"My apologies, Major Sheppard, but we cannot allow McKay to leave this world without offering his blessing to our gods."

"Now wait a minute. You can't--"

Gerson held up a hand. "Many a virgin feels a little fear when they give their first blessing. That your McKay is so much older makes his nervousness that much greater, but no one will hurt him. This I promise. I have set aside six of the most gentle of our warriors for him to choose from. Whomever he chooses will know the honor afforded them, and they will treat him with great respect and care."

"No!"

"I'm afraid that you can have no say in this. McKay has already been bathed, cleansed and prepared. All that is left is for the choosing...and for the blessing." Gerson looked genuinely upset at Sheppard's concern. "You may watch if you so wish as it is a joyous occasion to be shared by all, but I cannot allow you to stop the ceremony."

"Or what?"

The nasty tone took Gerson aback but he recovered quickly. "We have not performed a blood sacrifice in many generations...but if you try to stop this blessing then the priest may be forced to slay your McKay, and let his blood bless our harvests as it was in the old days."

"You said he wouldn't be hurt," Sheppard stated through gritted teeth.

"And that has been the case for ten generations, and I debated through the night for this to remain the way of the blessing. But some of the villagers argued for a return to the ritual blood sacrifice in this special case."

Teyla gasped, the true weight of her guilt crashing down upon her. She had brought this upon McKay but could see no way to repair the damage she had caused in her anger.

"I want to see him." The Major was adamant in his demand.

"As you wish. But you cannot interfere, not if you wish him to live."

**--**

Gerson waved the guard back, allowing them to leave the small building. The elder led them to the village square where the villagers had decorated the raised area at the center with garlands of braided flowers and what passed for sheaths of wheat or corn. John saw McKay first, standing naked and scared between two strong warriors, his body marked over the heart, left temple and along one hip with glyphs that John recognized as some of the constellations written upon the Stargate. Standing on the ground below McKay were six equally naked men, all gazing up at him with excited, hope-filled eyes. They played with their hard erections as if parading themselves before McKay, wanting him to see exactly what they had to offer in exchange for being the one to bless him.

McKay's eyes rose over their heads as he spotted John, and the fear in them was palpable.

A clear voice rang out, directed at McKay. "You must choose your mate."

The fear-filled blue eyes locked with John's and, in that instant, John knew that, though he could not stop this, he could offer the gentleness of a familiar companion, of a friend. Knowing what he had to do, he mouthed the words carefully...'Choose me'.

McKay looked panic stricken and confused, eyes flicking between John's eyes and mouth so John repeated the words out loud. "Choose me."

He knew his words would not carry across the loud murmuring of the excited crowd but they must have registered with McKay because a little of the panic left his eyes. He swallowed nervously and gave a tight nod of his head, his eyes never leaving John's. Gerson looked between the two of them but, from his peripheral vision, John could see no discord on his seamed face. Instead, Gerson seemed far happier, clasping his hands together.

"I had hoped that either you or your young lieutenant would offer to bless him. I was concerned for your McKay. Even the most timid newly-become man or woman of our village has never shown such distress. But then, this is not a custom of your people."

"No. We don't generally have rape and public humiliation as a rite of passage."

Gerson smiled a little sadly. "I understand your anger-"

"Then put a stop to this now. Respect _our_ customs-"

Gerson sighed. "You ask us to respect your customs but yet you are unwilling to respect the greatest of ours." He placed a hand on John's shoulder. "I am sorry for his distress...but I cannot stop this."

John nodded, still angry but resigned to helping McKay through this as painlessly as possible.

"What do I have to do?"

Gerson's full smile returned. "There is no formal ceremony. Simply go to him and be one with him."

Keeping his eyes fixed on McKay, John removed his boots and socks. He stood back up, shrugging out of his black t-shirt and handing it to a very quiet Ford before undoing his pants. Stepping out of them, John handed those over too, never once looking at Ford even though he knew he would not find any disgust in the younger soldier's face. John paused for a moment, clad only in his briefs before swallowing his pride and discarding those too.

McKay's eyes had widened with each article of clothing removed. He swallowed nervously as John climbed the few stone steps to stand before McKay.

"I've kinda got used to saving your ass but never had to bless it before," he murmured, trying for a little levity and saw the slightest flicker of a smile push aside some of the fear in McKay's eyes.

Not McKay, he thought. Rodney.

John reached out and gently caressed Rodney's forearm. Just the lightest touch but he felt the tremor race through the surprisingly trim frame. Somehow he had expected Rodney to be chubbier but months of offworld missions and defense sessions with Ford must have trimmed away some of the excess. There was still a little softness around the middle that John found very appealing, so different from his own lean and well-toned body. His fingers brushed against one hip, feeling the silken texture of soft flesh that had just a touch of give in it, a little padding over the sharpness of bone.

Rodney flinched slightly but he did not try to back away from John's touch. John let one hand rest on the gentle curve of hip while the other stroked the side of Rodney's face from temple to chin. He took another half step closer, well within Rodney's personal space, and caressed his cheek once more. This time he left his fingers there, cupping Rodney's face and preventing him from retreating as John leaned in to brush his lips over Rodney's.

He pulled back, watching Rodney closely for any sign of returning panic. Rodney licked his lips as if trying to identify the taste.

"See...that was not so bad, was it?"

"Easy for you to say." Rodney's voice held that familiar tremor from times when he was scared stiff but pretending to be brave.

"I can't promise not to do anything you don't want."

"Well that's pretty obvious since I don't want any of this and you're still going ahead."

"I know." John gave him a reassuring smile. "But we can take it slow; give you plenty of time to relax."

"Have you ever..? Have you?"

"Don't ask, don't tell, Rodney...but, under the circumstances. Yes. I've done this before." He raised both eyebrows and added, "More than once, as both top and bottom. I'm bi."

The slight frown faded quickly as Rodney figured out what he meant. His only response a simple, "Oh. I've never...well, obviously I've never, or they wouldn't be so interested in me."

John smiled at the nervous babbling. This was more like the Rodney he knew, rather than the Rodney who had been dumbstruck with terror.

"How are you going to..?"

John's lips twitched, seeing morbid scientific curiosity in the blue eyes. He knew the scientist in Rodney would not be able to resist knowing all the gory details so John was already prepared with an answer.

"It'll be easier on you if I take you from behind."

"Bend over, close my eyes and think of Canada."

"Something like that."

"Something?"

"Yeah...Something. Just trust me, Rodney. You can do this."

"Okay. Okay," he said almost breathlessly, "I can do this." His eyes widened. "But what if I can't?"

"You can."

Throughout, John continued with the small caresses upon warm flesh, feeling Rodney slowly relax beneath his gentle touch. Despite the temptation, he never allowed his eyes to move from Rodney's, wanting Rodney to forget all about the people watching them. He leaned in again slowly, and kissed Rodney, lingering upon the soft lips without pressure before swiping across Rodney's lips with his tongue. When Rodney made no sign of obvious distress, John increased the pressure of his kiss, with tongue teasing between the slightly parted lips to flick inside the hot mouth. The sensation was almost surreal because he never thought he would ever find himself kissing Rodney McKay.

His hands splayed over Rodney's hips, drawing their bodies closer until they stood chest to chest, and groin to groin. He felt an answering twitch from the soft penis pressed against his inner thigh but then felt Rodney tense as John's firming erection pushed against Rodney's abdomen, making John's growing desire known. Rodney pulled away from the kiss, suddenly reminded of why they were there, and John saw Rodney's eyes begin to slide away over John's shoulder.

"Focus on me, Rodney. There's no one else here."

Rodney's eyes widened incredulously. "Hate to break this to you but there's an entire vill-"

"No," John stated firmly. There's no one else here. Just you and me."

Those incredibly blue eyes started to slip away again and John dug his fingers into the slightly fleshy hips, regaining Rodney's full attention, watching as long lashes batted twice in surprised pain.

"Just you and me," he reiterated more forcefully.

"Fine. There's just us here...standing naked...and very, very close."

John smiled, swooping in to kiss Rodney again but this time he put everything into it, wanting to drive all other thoughts from Rodney's mind. He knew he had succeeded when Rodney's arms came up, wrapping around his waist. Palms damp with fear-induced sweat slid across John's flesh, sending shivers of anticipation through him that arrowed straight to his groin. He moaned into the mouth that lay open and needy beneath his, rocking his hips to encourage Rodney's erection that now pressed insistently against his solid flesh. He knew he had managed to get Rodney as relaxed as he was ever going to get under the circumstances.

John pulled back from the kiss and whispered to him. "Want you to close your eyes now, Rodney, and keep them closed, no matter what happened."

"Okay," he agreed but John could hear the worry returning.

"Just you and me. Just you and me," he crooned softly, setting up a mantra that he hoped Rodney would allow to fill his thoughts as John disengaged from Rodney's embrace and turned him, pressing his shoulders down onto the soft bed of flowers placed across what John could only describe as an altar stone. With one hand, he stroked the broad back from the nape of the neck to the curve of Rodney's lower back, gradually lengthening each caress until he was brushing over the sweet curve of Rodney's ass. His fingers trailed down the valley between the swells of Rodney's ass, brushing over the hidden entrance.

John bit down on his lower lip in anger when he found the muscle already a little loose and slick with oil, only now realizing what Gerson had meant by Rodney being prepared. Now he understood why Rodney had seemed so disproportionately distressed when he first saw him on the stone platform. The Esterians had already sexually abused him by hand or object.

Admittedly, it made his role easier and, if he had not told Rodney to choose him then one of those six Esterians would have forced their way into Rodney's body by now. He doubted any of them would have taken the same amount of time and care to reassure Rodney as he did. At least being prepared would have saved Rodney from any serious injury if he had not asked to be the one to take Rodney.

John pressed first one and then another finger inside the hot channel, alternating between kissing the soft flesh of shoulder and neck and whispering encouragement.

"Keep your eyes closed...Just you and me."

Fingers of one hand reached beneath Rodney to rub over one tight nipple, hoping Rodney was the sensitive type. He heard a softly indrawn breath and felt Rodney push back against his fingers. John smiled, aware that Rodney would be a sensual, responsive lover under different circumstances.

Rodney was as ready as he would ever be and John knew it was time to finish this ordeal. He withdrew his fingers and used one hand to hold Rodney steady while the other guided his penis to the loosened entrance. With a slow, steady thrust, he pushed inside, eyes screwing closed, breath gasping as he was enclosed in a tight sheath of amazing heat and softness.

He felt Rodney tense beneath him and whispered raggedly for him to trust, starting a new mantra telling him to relax. John knew this first time would burn for Rodney no matter how much preparation and a soft whimper was his only clue to how much it hurt.

John ignored the exclamation of the crowd who gasped in pleasure as he entered Rodney, only pausing once he was fully sheathed.

"The worst is over," he whispered, trying to soothe the tremors racing through Rodney.

It took all of John's control not to start thrusting in and out of the amazingly tight and hot body. Instead, he reached beneath Rodney, tracing a path down the rib cage, across the softer belly to the pain-softened penis. He stroked the soft flesh, letting Rodney grow used to the pressure stretching and filling him, and was rewarded with the first stirring of renewed pleasure as Rodney's penis slowly swelled in his hand.

Carefully, John pulled back until he had almost fully withdrawn from Rodney, only to push back in one smooth motion, burying himself to the hilt one more. He knew he had hit that sensitive place inside when Rodney gasped, his cock jerking in John's hand. John repeated the action, growing bolder with each thrust until he was fucking Rodney in long smooth strokes that sent spikes of intense pleasure radiating outwards. The sudden clamping of muscles down upon him and the scalding heat of Rodney's climax over his busy fingers brought him over the edge, his senses spiraling out of control; he emptied himself deep inside Rodney, crying out in pleasure.

When he regained his senses, John was slumped over Rodney's back, with his hand coated in sticky semen lying braced upon one fleshy hip. The roar of the crowd seemed surreal, the music even more so as the Esterians began to celebrate wildly.

John eased out of Rodney's body, startling when he felt a covering placed over him and Rodney. He turned Rodney and hugged him, feeling the strong arms wrap around him as Rodney buried his head in John's shoulder.

Hands reached for them, for Rodney and John began to lash out until he recognized Ford and Teyla. They steadied them down the steps and across the square to another building while the celebration continued all around.

John only breathed easier once they were inside, and out of the view of prying eyes. Rodney's clothes were there but no sign of their weapons. Gerson stepped into the room, answering John's unspoken question.

"Your weapons are beside the Great Ring. The elders felt it would be best if they were not handed back to you immediately."

"Then we're free to leave." John pulled on his clothes as he spoke, his eyes unable to leave Rodney's huddled shape as Teyla led him into a curtained off area. The sound of water pouring in a bowl caught at his attention and he knew Rodney was likely washing away the drying semen from his belly and chest, and John's semen that would have trickled from between his legs.

"The terms of the trade agreement have been met in full. We will be ready to trade the food and supplies in two days hence in exchange for the water purification system, as agreed."

"We'll send some of our people through to set up the system." John paused, and then looked back with a hard expression. "None of them will need a blessing."

Gerson gave a soft, almost apologetic smile. "I understand."

When he looked round a few minutes later, he found Rodney fully dressed but still unusually quiet for the usually loquacious scientist. The blue eyes refused to meet his and John wished he could take Rodney aside and talk to him. They walked to the gate in near silence and John found he was missing the usual banter and bickering. John sent his IDC as soon as the wormhole opened and told Weir they were coming home. She was waiting for him at the base of the stairs, her eyebrows rising in concern when Rodney mumbled something unintelligible and started to walk off.

"Did you sort out the trade agreement?"

"You could say that...Rodney?" Rodney stopped and half-looked back over his shoulder, not quite meeting John's eyes but he waited until John reached his side. John spoke softly, not wanting his voice to carry. "I want you to go see Beckett. Get checked over to make sure I didn't..."

"You didn't hurt me, Major."

"I'd still like to hear that from Beckett."

Rodney turned then, his eyes as hard as sapphire jewels. "Why? Not good enough that you, Teyla, Ford and a whole village saw me humiliated, now you want everyone here to know too?"

John took a step back, completely puzzled by the abrupt change from disquiet to anger. His own features toughened as he hissed at him through gritted teeth, "Either you take yourself to Beckett, or I drag you there. Your choice."

Rodney glared at him, eyes more hostile than John had ever seen before in the handsome face but John stared him down. Rodney lowered his eyes and gave a tight nod before walking away, leaving John staring at his stiff back.

"Major? What just happened?"

John glanced towards Teyla and Ford but both of them pressed their lips tightly shut, reluctant to speak of the events on Esteria.

"Can we discuss this later?" He asked, and saw wariness in her eyes along with a subtle promise that they would talk about this.

"Later then, Major."

**--**

Rodney stalked off towards his own room, thinking 'to hell with Sheppard'. He knew he was being unreasonable, especially as he still hurt from the so-called blessing. He could think of several better words to describe what had happened and yet those words seemed out of place under the circumstances. He was confused. His body ached in places where he never even knew he could ache but had it been rape?

Perhaps if he had ignored Sheppard and chosen one of the Esterians then he would be justified in calling it rape. Still what Sheppard did to him was no different except...except he had liked it. He had liked it enough to reach an orgasm, and even if he had not climaxed in Sheppard's hand, could it still be called rape? And then there was the other part of the dilemma. By choosing the Major, had he been a party to Sheppard being raped too. After all, by choosing him, Rodney had forced Sheppard into performing a sexual act with him, an act he had offered to perform under duress.

Rodney shrugged out of his clothes, dropping them to the floor in an untidy heap. He stepped into the bathroom attached to his room and looked at himself in the full length mirror. Nothing had changed. He still looked exactly as he had several days earlier except for the two markings that had not washed away with plain water. Swallowing hard, Rodney looked away from the mirror and mentally commanded on the shower. Water cascaded from several jets and he stepped beneath the spray, soaping up his body and then letting the water wash away the remnants of sweat and semen. He scrubbed at the marks, with a small part of him wondering at the significance of those particular seven symbols. The permutations ran to five thousand and forty possible gate addresses, too many to check out.

He wondered at the almost aimlessness of his thoughts. Strangely, he did not feel the soul deep dirtiness that filled psychiatric journals. He did not feel an overwhelming desire to scrub away several layers of flesh in some misguided notion that it would make him clean. Instead, it was the absence of these feelings that concerned him on some different level.

"Maybe I'm in shock." He scrubbed a hand over his face, flicking away the water.

Off, he thought and the jets closed, leaving him standing naked and wet in the shower area. Several minutes passed before he felt the urge to move. Rodney dried off quickly, pausing only when he saw the fresh blood on the towel after drying too roughly between his legs.

Perhaps Sheppard was right. Perhaps he ought to allow Carson to check him over. Rodney pulled on some baggy sweats and a t-shirt before leaving his room, heading for the infirmary.

He avoided thinking about it as he made the short journey by the closest transporter but, as he stepped through the door, his mouth dried up in fear. What was he supposed to say? 'Hey, Carson, I got reamed good and proper by Sheppard and need you to check out my ass'.

Carson stepped out from his office, almost as if he was expecting him, and when he spoke, his gentle eyes and manner showed prior knowledge of Rodney's trauma. Sheppard had been there, for there could be no other explanation. Rodney took a deep breath and several more steps into the infirmary, allowing Carson to lead him to a curtained off area in the corner. He was handed one of the patient gowns.

"I'd like you to change into this, Rodney. It'll make the examination easier on the both of us." Rodney nodded. "Just call out when you're ready."

Carson left the enclosed area, pulling the curtain tight behind him to give Rodney all the privacy he needed. Taking another deep and ragged breath, Rodney stripped and pulled on the gown; he stood beside the bed waiting for Carson to return. Several minutes passed but, despite Carson asking him to call out, Rodney felt no inclination to do so, wanting to delay the inevitable for as long as possible.

"Rodney? Are you ready yet?"

The voice came from just beyond the curtain, and Rodney still felt disinclined to answer, unable to work the words through his dry mouth. The curtain opened a fraction, revealing Carson's face.

"Are you all right?"

Rodney laughed, concerned when he heard the edge of hysteria in his own voice, and seeing a reflection of that concern in Carson's face. Carson came fully into the enclosure, taking care to draw the curtain fully. He patted the bed.

"Up you go."

Carefully, Rodney eased onto the bed, trying to put as little pressure on his sore ass as possible. He sighed as he leaned back, his head meeting the firm surface. A small click brought his eyes along the length of the bed and he watched as Carson locked a stirrup in place before moving around to the other side and doing the same again.

"Need you to scoot down a bit and put you feet up. Here, I'll help."

'Bend over, close your eyes and think of Canada...Just you and me,' a familiar voice whispered in his head.

He closed his eyes and turned his face away as Carson began to examine him, intimately, hating the fresh assault upon his body even if it was a necessity. Carson's touch was impersonal, though, drawing no response from his body except for shards of pain as he pushed at abused flesh.

"Just a little tear," Carson murmured. "Won't even need a stitch."

The fingers left and then returned, coating something gel-like and, judging by the way it quickly soothed, it had analgesic properties. Carson helped Rodney remove his legs.

"Not like you to be so quiet, Rodney." Carson rested a hand on Rodney's forearm. "I'm not just your doctor...I'm your friend too. So if you need to talk, I still have a quarter bottle of the finest malt stashed away in my office."

Rodney wasn't stupid. He knew he would have to talk to someone and, though he had spent professional time with Heightmeyer after Gall's suicide, he didn't trust her enough. Yet, Sheppard must have trusted Carson enough to pre-warn him about Rodney's possible injuries and the cause...and he did consider Carson to be a friend.

Carson made it easier on him. "There's a balcony just a transport ride a way that gets the sun at this time of the day. I dragged a couple of reclining chairs and a table out there a week or two back. It's a good place to sit and think...and take a wee dram. Be a good place to talk too."

**--**

Carson watched as Rodney reclined back, sipping at the single malt. He raised his glass to his lips and took a sip too, welcoming the familiar tingle upon his lips and the warm burn all the way to his stomach. Perfect, he thought. Smooth and mellow. His attention turned back to his silent companion. Rodney had remained unnaturally quiet on the way out here which was disconcerting because Rodney rarely did anything quietly.

He thought back to just an hour earlier, when Major Sheppard came into the infirmary.

"Major! I wasn't expecting you and your team until after the debriefing."

Sheppard raised his hands. "It's just me." The smile faded, leaving an uneasiness lingering on the handsome face.

"Is there a problem?"

"You could say that." The Major took a deep breath. "I need you to check over McKay."

"I'd planned to--"

"No...I mean. Things didn't go according to plan on this mission and we were placed in an impossible position...where I had to hurt him."

Carson's shock must have registered on his face. "In what way, Major?"

"I...I raped him."

"You what?"

"I have to go speak to Doctor Weir. I'll make sure McKay comes by."

Before Carson could move past the shocking revelation, Sheppard had left so he contacted Elizabeth right away, saying nothing about Sheppard and Rodney but warning her that he needed to be left uninterrupted barring an emergency. Carson knew Rodney would have difficulty approaching Kate about a subject this delicate, especially where Sheppard was involved but, other than Sheppard, Rodney had few close friends he could turn to. Carson considered himself to be one of them, and probably someone in the best position to listen and advise right now.

Coming back to the present, he swirled the amber liquid around his glass, letting the sunlight sparkle through it, before taking another sip. He decided to be direct.

"Was it rape?"

"It was a comedy of errors...that didn't turn out to be that funny."

"Did the Major rape you?"

Rodney looked at Carson. "Is that what he said?"

Carson nodded.

"I don't suppose he mentioned that I'm just as guilty."

" _You_ raped _him_?"

"Yes...I suppose so."

"Rodney...Either you did or you didn't. Not suppose so about it."

"Then I did."

"Do I need to examine him too...for tears?"

Rodney frowned. "What? Oh...no...no. I didn't...not that."

"Perhaps you need to start from the beginning."

Carson listened in growing shock as Rodney haltingly described the events leading to the 'rapes'. His heart breaking at Rodney's abuse, at his fear and his confusion. Carson could see himself standing in Sheppard's boots, powerless to put a stop to the abuse but in a position to at least limit the damage. Could he have done the same as Sheppard? Could he have offered to be the one to rape his friend knowing he had no STDs to pass on, and an invested interest in being as careful as possible because it was not just anyone's ass, virgin or otherwise? Still, he could understand why Rodney would believe he had raped Sheppard, believing he had coerced the Major into becoming part of a public humiliation but the only person who could convince him that was not the case, was Sheppard.

It took another dram of his fine malt before Rodney loosened up enough to reveal the most disquieting moment of his ordeal--discovering that he was capable of enjoying a homosexual act.

"Oh, Rodney. That does not make you gay...just makes you human. All of us have the ability to enjoy physical closeness with others no matter their gender. It's only modern convention that insists on that partner being of the opposite sex...but history is scattered with same-sex relationships that were stronger and more meaningful than the so-called norm of today." Carson picked up the bottle and poured a little more into Rodney's glass before refilling his own. "Anyway, is it so hard to admit that you love the man?"

"L-love?"

"The dreaded four-letter word that strikes fear into the hearts of men and women alike."

"I hardly think it's cause for levity."

"So you're no longer denying it?"

"What?" Rodney frowned in confusion and Carson could see him playing back the conversation mentally, his blue eyes widening in the horror of realization.

Carson reached out and patted Rodney on the thigh. "Perhaps now you understand why this whole mess has got you so confused. You've been mooning over the man for months, though it'd take an observant and open-minded person like myself to notice."

With a sly smile, Carson stood up. "I've got to go back now...but I want you to stay. Rest a wee while. The sun's passed its zenith and a little too weak at this time of year so you won't burn if you want to doze off."

"Debriefing," Rodney mumbled, making to rise but Carson pushed him back down.

"Let the rest of your team handle that. I'll let Elizabeth know I've ordered you to rest."

He gave Rodney's shoulder a final pat before turning to leave, looking back when he heard his name and some mumbled thanks. Carson smiled.

"That's what friends are for."

Carson walked away quickly, tapping his radio as soon as he was beyond earshot of Rodney.

"Major Sheppard, could you come to the balcony on the west side. Yes, the one I laid claim to."

He grinned when Sheppard reluctantly agreed and carried on walking, having no intention of being in the area when Sheppard arrived. The Major and Rodney needed to talk, and Carson could not think of a better time and place than the here and now, especially with Rodney all mellow from the whiskey and open to listening rather than lecturing for once.

**--**

John stepped out onto the balcony and froze, not expecting to find Rodney stretched out on one of Beckett's loungers, clad in baggy sweat pants and t-shirt. He opened his mouth to apologize and then realized that Rodney was fast asleep. Although part of his mind insisted that he back away now, before Rodney woke and saw him standing there, the other part drew him forward. In sleep, Rodney looked incredibly vulnerable and innocent with dark lashes fanning over high cheeks and his hair all mussed. The faded remains of a gate glyph still managed to stand out against the pale flesh of his temple, and that stark reminder stole away a little of the wonder at finding Rodney so quiet and peaceful.

Yet, John was no fool. The smell of whiskey drifted up from the glass beside Rodney, and John knew of only one person who might still have a bottle stashed away on Atlantis: Carson Beckett. The same man who had asked him to come here, and who must have known Rodney was lying here. John stripped off his jacket and sank into the empty lounger; he brought his feet up and stared at the azure blue sky, trying to decide where he had seen that particular shade of brilliant blue before. Another glass rested beside the lounger, containing a measure of whiskey and John reached for it, savoring the smooth taste and licking the taste from his tingling lips.

He let his eyes wander across to the sleeping man, remembering the feel of the silken flesh beneath his fingers and the heat of his body wrapped around John's cock. Only now, with the echo of that physical closeness still thrumming through his body, did he realize that the sex had been good, but not solely for the physical pleasure. It had been good because it was Rodney's soft lips and wet mouth, Rodney's warm flesh beneath him, and Rodney's whimper of ecstasy as he came in John's hand.

It hurt.

Knowing he had experienced such intimacy with Rodney, and knowing it would never happen again was more painful than he had ever imagined. The saying went, better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all...but at this moment, John wished he had never known the touch of Rodney McKay. Now he would have a lifetime knowing exactly what he had found and lost this day. He gulped down the whiskey, feeling the burn down his throat to his empty stomach, using it as Dutch courage to justify staying longer simply watching over Rodney as he slept. He could not resist reaching across, though, to touch the warm forearm, feeling the waning heat of the sun upon the soft flesh but he drew his hand back as Rodney stirred.

His eyes peeled open slowly, and John knew he had found the shade of blue that had entranced him moments earlier.

"Hey," he uttered softly, not wanting to spook Rodney, silently wondering if this had been such a good idea to stay. Yet, despite the edge of wariness in the blue eyes, Rodney showed none of the anger that had driven him in the gate room.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm...I'm fine."

"You sure?"

"Yes...No...Not completely."

"Oh?"

"I'm...just a little sore."

"Okay."

"I'm sorry. In the gate room..." Rodney trailed off, waving his hand as if he knew John would know to what he was referring. "I was..."

"Sore?"

"Confused."

John nodded gently, hoping Rodney would elucidate without too much prompting on his part. It had never been this hard getting words out of Rodney before. Usually, it was hard to get him to shut up and John could not help but smile at the anomaly, which brought a frown to Rodney's face. John gave up and prompted him.

"Confused because..?"

"Because I liked what you did to me on the planet and that was...unexpected."

"I see."

"Confused because I'd like to do it again. Though, obviously, not straight away because my ass is really sore..." he added quickly, a flush of embarrassment coloring his cheeks.

John wondered how much whiskey Rodney had been drinking to lower his inhibitions to this extent as Rodney was so shy about personal matters usually. Of course, he made up for it by being so overtly generous describing his professional and mental capabilities but, until now, John had never wondered if that arrogance was a defense mechanism. Pushing people away with his ego meant he did not have to deal with them on a personal level.

"I'd like that too," he answered softly. "So...why don't we take the opportunity to start again?" John pushed up from his lounger and sank down beside Rodney. "Hi, I'm John...and I think you are the hottest man I've ever met."

Rodney's lips twitched. "Is that your chat up line?"

"Go with what works," he answered with a shrug. "Of course, it helps that most people find me adorable."

"No...They find the hair adorable. The rest of you is just plain..."

John tilted his head questioningly. "Just plain..?"

"You really are an attention seeker, you know."

"Pot calling the kettle black."

Rodney huffed. "I do not--"

"Yes, you do."

"No, I don't--"

"Shut up and kiss me."

John leaned in and took the warm lips, tasting the whiskey still lingering there along with a unique flavor that he recalled from Esteria, a taste that was all Rodney. The kiss deepened as arms came up to draw their bodies closer, tongues colliding as they each sought to map every inch of the other's hot mouth. Eventually, they parted, dragging in deep, ragged breaths as they stared into each other's eyes.

"Not a bad start," murmured Rodney, a smile playing about his kiss-swollen lips.

"Not bad? I didn't hear any complaints while you were fishing for my tonsils."

"You've still got your tonsils?"

"Yeah," John replied warily.

"Hmmm...maybe I need to carry on fishing then, see if I can catch them."

John grinned against the lips that covered his, welcoming the firm pressure and the hot tongue that snaked between his parted lips. He knew life with Rodney would never be easy but then, he had never taken the easy road in his life so what difference did that make now. Yet, as he melted into the kiss, John knew they had both been blessed that day...with each other.

THE END

-


End file.
